JH

2012-01-30T00:43:00.003+08:00

After that previous naggy, no-one-gives-a-fuck-life-post.
time to say how i felt ytd.
Well overall it was fun indeed.
No doubt.

Just that i do get annoyed when people keep fucking around with me.
when i didnt say a shit, they fuck around with me.
When i told them everything,
they still fuck around with me,
+ worst.
shouldn't have told them a shit. just decided to do so cuz i treated them as my better friends.
now regretted.

while doing a mini-road march,
one of my friend was talking about it.
i don't really find that talking though seriously.
i just found myself emotionally humiliated, and can't say anthing about it.
Yep, i know perfectly what i am doing.
and yeh i know what i'm doing is wrong and stuff.
But seriously, what make you think that you can judge?
Do you know the full story? you know what happened before and after?
you know no shit.

and right,
say the first time, i get it.
keep emphasizing it, i seriously do get annoyed.
but what could i have done?
i couldn't possibly reason it out, or explain it in my defence.
because all of these wont do me any good either.
they'll just think i'm the bad and weird or even 'desprate' one.
hahaha no doubt my current situation is definately dramatic though.
But seriously, i can't see any good friend's trait in any one except maybe one.
which is slowly leaving too.
Maybe my expectation is too high or seriously they just treat me as a laughing stock.
fuck it,
i'm always the one getting teased and made fun of anyway.
be it my size, strength, wits, and relation?
oh well, i guess i'm talking way too much.

anwyay wasting way too much time these days.
just wanna get home everyday after school to chill alone,
but just cant find the chance..
packed schedule!

sometimes super jealous of my bro,
army life seems so cool even though i don't know what they do inside there.
But seeing how my bro can come home anytime and chill,
listening to musics and stuffs
leading a carefree life for 2years,
makes me envy!

2012-01-30T00:35:00.003+08:00

people should stop complaining and start cherishing every single moment and objects.
Love what you have and love what you had.
What's the point of getting so fustrated over something which just temporary spoilt?
why so sad when meeting is hard?
wining ain't gonna do anything.
Actually it does something, but nth benefiting.
It does indeed spoil the mood of both though.

treat people like how you want them to treat you.
Think about how they feel you do this to them.
Sometimes people may say things like
'it's too troublesome to do so, i refuse to think'
'i just don't like thinking too much'
it that is what it is in our mind, then always remember this:

the world doesn't just revolves around one person.
we're living and interacting with many others.
What we feel, others feel it too.

If after doing so, people still think that
they are just too awesome to give a fuck about others,
then idk what to say..

It's not hard to do this at all. really.

PS: this post aint target at anyone. It's just a general thought of mine.

2012-01-28T02:38:00.002+08:00

hmmm put in so much effort to stay awake,
and to be greeted by a frustrated tone due to some
inanimate objects.

i mean.. people should really realise that,
the world don't just revolves around them.
Yes people can adjust to suit one person, to comfort or qian jiu him or her.
But the world would really appreciate it if at some times,
it was done the other way round.

this is why theres a phrase call 'mutual respect'
or in chinese,
'bao rong'

2012-01-25T18:18:00.000+08:00

smart phone sucks. people always get so engrossed with them and ignore surrounding. be it traffic or people. sometimes I just hate the invention of

2012-01-21T11:39:00.003+08:00

every near year keep hearing others say their home have too much snacks and couldn't finish.
mine -.-" so little so i have to eat slowly!!
Bakua always gone in a flash because i bu-she-de eat and others just enjoy chomping them down.
normallyi just get a quarter piece and spend half an hour licking, sucking bitting it.
they spend like few seconds to finish one ><

buying 2kg of bakua myself this year!
thinking whether if i should get the beef one. because they don't eat beef =D

anyway it's time to control what i post here already.
just realised that this piece of shit is still being checked by people who has too much time!

~no timeeee.....

2012-01-20T14:05:00.000+08:00

Fuck this shit!
why the fuck do I feel so much pain from a single message.
well atleast it's not a lie

2012-01-20T00:58:00.002+08:00

hmm just reached home from fort canning park!
it was awesome! although boring for a while/
But worth the wait!
Main point is, when i departed, i typed this and was ready to send out.
'Hey, call me when you reach home'
Then i realised something.
This phrase, is completely stupid. O.O
i wanted to send this cuz i thought it was gentleman and caring to do so.
well it IS in fact a form of concern.
HOWEVER. What is the point?
i mean right, when she reach home, she'll call you and tell you she's safe and right you got a peace of mind.
so what if she didn't call? then right, you know she hasn't reach home.

and then what?
what can you do about it? call her?
LOL what if shes on the way back home or going elsewhere first
or maybe she reached home but was busying with stuffs
and you call, disturb.
ALSO what is the time limit passed before you deem one as 'missing' due to not calling?
15mins? 30mins? or accurate estimation from train ride + distance away from home + her walking speed?

ALSO,
even if really something happened, what you gonna do?
1)rush down to find her (find her where?) she could've been kidnapped and sent to other places
2)call police - sorry need 48hours. + what is she just didn't notice the phone ring?
3)sit back and pray. - GFY
4)pcc, cut wrist, - laming.

anyway, i hope my point is clear.
i mean i am not against people from sending this.
sure it is sweet and stuff.
but, not practical at all.
if you wanna make sure she's safe,
send her back yourself.

2012-01-18T19:55:00.002+08:00

Lesson learnt today from gym.
Aim reasonably. climb slowly.
Just started learning how to do squats and always ache like a bitch every time after squats.
The last time i tried was 20+12.5+12.5 = 45kg

Today act one pro,
50kg cramped, and continued.
went for near 60kg the next time which is already more than my own weight of 52 -.-".
did a couple of times and on my last 3rd rep,
BOOM cramp. sprained my back a bit. luckily my friend was there to support me ..
Didnt feel that bad right after it.
The moment i step out of gym walking down the stairs,
my thighs gave in and fell _l_
ji tao embarrassed. zzz planned to go out at the night, in the end can't even walk properly and got carried back home.

zzz if no one was with me then,
i seriously don't know where would i be now.
have difficulties walking right now and haven buy dinner! FUCK!!!
hope i can make it to school tmr.. zzz

2012-01-18T01:23:00.002+08:00

Went to Sentosa boardwalk with my friend tonight.
no last night.
One of the restaurant nearby played this song
Damn nice. i know it's an old song but yeh
this song just have the effect on me!
anyway here's it

it's stuck in my head now!

2012-01-18T00:51:00.003+08:00

i seriously feel like a bad guy..

anyway! been using youtube frequently recently.
i mean seriously frequently.
they are just never ending! one interesting link to another 10 interesting video,
1 awesome song leads to other 10 awesome pieces!

So about youtube yes. So theres a comment box thing.
everytime you look at those, you'll find some top comments.
Some of which are really funny i mean, funny + original.
Some of them are seriously _l_ fucking lame.
i mean yes they are funny the first few times you see it. but they just use back the same trick but different words and they got top comment?
something like

Lamer:mom give me a knife
mom:why would you need one?
Lamer: to kill xxx people who disliked this video
Mon: isin it dangerous then?
Lamer: no, because there are xxxxx people backing me up!

'or'

the xxx who dislike this video is _______. thumbs up if you agree.

'or'

thumbs up if you are still listening to this in year 20xx

SOMETHING like these. There are more.
I'm sure these are very in youtube top comments nowadays.
my opinion? THEY ARE FUCKING STUPID.
seriously they don't deserve top comment.
0 originality.
ANYWAY
why do people wants top comment so badly in the first place?
like they can actually earn money from that?

oh yeh i suddennly recalled some comments like this too
xxxx thumbs up and i shall propose to my girlfriend..

~~~ whoa... so sweet.. so romantic. i shall give you a thumb up and give you ma blessing~~~

EAT MY SHIT.
Seriously?
your girlfriend's and your marriage are decided by others?
seriously i wont give you any blessing. and i pity that girlfriend.
omg so when you are gonna have a baby you're gonna go to another youtube video and post the similar thing?
to these people, GFY..
GFY = Good For You.
Nah. no way. it means Go Fuck Yourself.

Oh yeh another type of comment i hate.
is their fucking life story.. -.-"
seriously. check out some music videos.
simple plan's MV most. go to anyone. i believe those comments which talk about their own trouble are there.
Lols alright it is nth wrong to do that. in fact yeh some of them sound sad indeed.
i can feel sorry for them
But still. they are just annoying. who wants to go to a video to read sad stories zz

oh yeh.
speaking of comment.
somehow i got one top comment.
it was super simple yet original cuz i didnt even gave a thought to it.
'OMG SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK.. KILL ME PLEASE. I ACCIDENTALLY PRESSED THE LIKE BUTTON'
why i got the top comment?
haha because it was a video of justin bieber doing a front flip.
O.O
opps.
80+ thumbs for some reason LMAO

hmmmm anyway feel really bad today.
totally shouldn't have shared my problem.
i mean i didn't actually 'share' but i just tell her how i felt...
which then caused her to emo the whole trip home.
problems and negative feelings for me. i think it's better to keep it.
hmmm most of the time it's not like others can help anyway.
i'll just bring my sadness to them =(

well people love to ask because they are curious.
of well people always say it's better to be sad after knowing it than curious for the entire life not knowing it.
so the best way to prevent this shit?
it to put on a poker face and be cool!
JH's motto: review no emotions!
nah. that's not possible. when you're with someone you feel comfortable with, it's harder to keep your emotions and comments!

2012-01-16T23:32:00.001+08:00

oh yeh btw HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
LOL still stalking this lame blog?

2012-01-16T23:08:00.002+08:00

hmmm this is so god damn true.
Still my theory again.
I gain something, i lose something.
or maybe i am just too fail to balance my stuffs in life.

anyway just visited my friend's blog after a really long time.
realise he damn emo about this girl.
Hmmmm i shouldn't consider myself his good friend already the fact idk a shit abt it.
sometimes i wonder, what are the others taking me as?
i mean for some i regard them as close friends, best friend for selected some and even more complicated stuffs.
i wonder do they regard me this way too?
i mean i totally understand that people don't always treat you the way you treat them.
sometimes when they are obviously sad, but they just won't tell you a shit, then you just gotta stop asking and know your line i guess.

hahaha anyway recently had a great person who stepped into my life.
from that moment i'm gonna lose something somehow, well they already shown up =)
so not so much of a disappointment to me since i already anticipated them.
blame it on my slow brain for not being able to take so many things at once.
oh well fuck these talks.

During chalet called someone. now i feel really guilty about it.
shouldn't have done it. maybe was too wasted!
hmmm studies flunking, friends leaving, family tension rising.
Hope i can cope well =D

thats all! my recent post are so stupid.. talking about myself -.-"

2012-01-08T23:13:00.002+08:00

had a really bad day.
Today sux.
can't you just talk nicely. is there a need to scream all over the phone like the first thing in the morning?
right i brought a friend to my house. what's the big deal?
'don't want me as a son'
'get out of the house right now'
all these harsh comments. you didn't even think before you say them?

i only saw your message at past midnight which you already slept.
And when i was thinking that i didn't wanna wake you, and you say i got mesmerized by a girl and ignored her.
nice inference.

keep saying things like
'your brother already like this to your dad, lose one more son also no big deal'
seriously thats what you think?

During dinner i chose to eat alone outside to cool down abit before facing her.
and then there goes a call.
screaming like shit i didnt even get a change to speak.
all i replied was in nice tone trying to reasonably talk to her.
what i get in return was a one-way argument and screaming.
what the fuck did i do.
Do i really weigh so little to you?
Brother and Dad's relationship are already fucked up to an extend where theres no return.
Not like the past, i doubt this time they'll talk ever again.
and there you go, making our family problem worst.

During my dinner today, i realise i seriously lack of people to talk to.
Anyway, i still love my mum.
but i don't think i can face her for the next few days to come.
Lousy day for me.
Fuck

2011-12-27T01:24:00.000+08:00

It’s a fact.

Stupid people have stupid children.

If you’re stupid, please don’t have sex. If you insist on having sex, then please have sex with animals. Preferably animals smarter than you are. That way, if by some biological fluke, you and the animal actually have offspring, odds are, the offspring will be less stupid than you are.

One more thing – don’t assume the animal is protected. If the animal has a condom (or if female, some sort of interuterine device), insist they wear it.

Please…help stamp out this mindless mindlessness. Keep your stupidity to yourself.

This message brought to you by the Council of Concerned Citizens Who Are Smarter Than You Are.

LOL fucking funny this radio ripped clip!

2011-12-25T23:18:00.002+08:00

alright just read a news on a 38 years old teacher hooking up with a 14years old female student.
don't really have anything particular to say about the news.
however one thing, or should i say, one sentence caught my attention.

"This is also a reminder to teachers, parents- to observe their students or children for tell-tale signs before something as serious as this happens."

okay, so what's wrong with this? uh well nth much, except the fact after seeing this, i guess parents will be soo afraid and worry about their daughter, and start to investigate their social life.
you know, nth much. typical cause of teenager's defiance, attitudes and shutting themselves up if you don't do it the right way.

this is what i think, or well heard from many of my friends and parent's friends which actually happened.

their child starts to know more friends
start to go out more often
parents starts to notice and starts to nag
teen bored of going home
teens hand out more often and later
parents got more concern nag more and ground children
** here some weaker children may just obediently listen.
while most get more rebellion.
teen stay out more and later
parents starts to invade their social life

this point.. parent.. say bye bye to your children =)
once you do this, your relationship with your children is as good as gone, for not less than a couple of years.
congratulation, you succeed in worsening the relationship just because you are too concerned about your child.
if you don't change your way and your child don't have a mature mind. seriously GG for you.
this is not end of story.. this often leads to more family problem.

my point is, i strongly believe children or teenagers attitude and rebellious weren't caused by negleacting, but more by over controlled.
parents should really do it right. don't let your temporary spike of anger leads to your torn relation. it is important to care and look out for them.
but not in this way. show them you love them, most importantly, treat them like an adult, give them your trust.

teenagers on the other hand, shouldn't abuse the trust given to you. be responsible of your action. respect your parents and most importantly, show them that they CAN actually treat you like an adult.

lmao there i go crapping like i'm some old shit..

2011-12-24T00:33:00.002+08:00

i can't open to my bestfriend anymore. or should i say, my once best friend...
oh well, not like she even treat me as one now.. =(

2011-11-24T18:33:00.000+08:00

body getting weaker.. getting sick so easily these days. next week 2 tests. the.week after exams. have fun jh.

2011-11-23T18:29:00.000+08:00

hais I knew things wont turn out so smoothly for me. but good thing is I already expected and not so disappointed. it has always been like this, good and bad things always balance each other out for me. there wont be any smooth sailing ride for me as eventually I shall lose something.

2011-11-20T04:48:00.002+08:00

4.50am.
just finished revising 1 chapter...
yeh from 11pm until few mins ago for one pathetic chapter..
i start to think my brain power is deteriorating.
well frankly speaking, i once thought i was smarter than others.
now that i compare myself to my classmates, i am so inferior in terms of smart.
last minute study can only give me a bare pass, cannot get me into uni.

worry about my results liao..
and you! yes you, when free can return calculator?

2011-11-12T21:54:00.004+08:00

lols how old liao.. still fight -.-"
seriously? 20+ and one soon to be 50 still fighting?

then cold war? man.. people should really try to understand each other even if they think they are not at wrong..
sometimes its not who is right or wrong,
nor who is right-er or wrong-er.
it is about..
hmm dunno what its about.
but my point is right and wrong is not everything

its a disspointment to have to see this yet again after so long..

2011-11-09T23:39:00.003+08:00

SIAN. stupid practical until 6pm make me cannot attend an event!!
i really miss helping in one!

i used to kan bu qi those clubs cca. but now i think that they are so fucking awesome!
can organise so many events.

School conducted a poly 50 competition.
something like relay thingy.
went to watch it for a awhile and realise
I FUCKING MISS TRACK N FIELD!
well Land was more of the friends and opportunity to lead
track is really one hobby i loved..
occasionally i still cant help but thought of my competitions times, which was like how many years ago.. zzz

Sea-game runner, why not!

2011-11-06T18:54:00.001+08:00

nice one.. nice reply dude. you just made yourself look like a fucking no life fool.

what happen to your independence? you shouldn't have asked.
same mistakes over and over again.

advice to you. Do Not sms no one!

2011-10-30T00:05:00.002+08:00

as i grow older, i realise my brain cannot remember all the important things to do.
things to do or remember which i told myself to remember awhile ago, and i can totally forgot about them in the next few mins.
and leaving me struggling to remember what i forgot for the next hour.

started practicing note taking last week.
it is easy to start many good habits but hard to maintain..

i'll make sure i teach my future generation the right practices from young.

2011-10-21T23:03:00.001+08:00

I swear I'll never ever drink in front of my same level secondary mates anymore... Shit I cant forget that particularincident!

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

2011-10-18T23:10:00.001+08:00

strong passion + weak will power = useless

?

2011-10-18T15:59:00.001+08:00

Sometimes the day before, u cough like hell on the bed and was desperate to see a doc, then on the next day when u are finally queueing for registration, ur cough just miraculously subside. And u decide not to see doc yet and went home. The moment u step into ur house, u again cough ur fucking lung out......

LML

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

2011-10-17T23:45:00.001+08:00

Reaching home from movie. Would be nicer if I didn't cough throughout the climax parts... -.-
Just now then realised those phlegm I coughed out contains blood stains... Fucking scary. Didn't know its tat serious zzz. Well atleast im not reaching out whole lot of blood.

Anyway what makes a horror story/film?
Stupid ghost + low intelligent humans + sudden screech/bang sound.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

2011-10-15T20:31:00.001+08:00

fucking suay.. 2 days before school start and im down with 39.4degree...

suay suay suay suay suay....

2011-10-11T01:13:00.003+08:00

realise i've been posting personal things rather than my thoughts.

been wanting to write about this for a really long time.. really long since secondary just kept forgetting.
so there goes.

adults love to say how easy is school life.. how hard is work life. when we grow up we'll know. they also like to describe how they miss their school life. especially how they regreted not studying hard back then and keep telling us not to make their mistake.

well these doesn't only apply to our seniors. this can actually already be seen in some of our friends.
those in uni :ahhh A levels were so easy back then..
: oh man.. i miss army life..
those in army: fuck! army life sux! poly/JC are so much better. i want to get out and study asap!
those in JC/poly: zzzz Olevels now seems so easy.. i miss secondary school life..
those in ITE :should've studied harder.. now wasted 3 years. if i go back secondary school i'll study harder.

to summarise.. the further you advance the easier you thought your past achievements were.
my way of say is.
'the further you advance, the more you FORGOT the toughness and stress you've encountered back then'

this is however what i think.

As we progress, yes indeed stuffs are getting harder THEMSELVE. HOWEVER its not exactly harder FOR US.
why do i say that, thats because when we progress, we grow, we mature, our brain functioning better, we are mount with better skills to yet again tackle another milestone.

so whether its psle/olevels/dip/degree or whatever, majority of us are keeping up. at our limit.
well those who matures earlier or with a better brain eventually ace in their cohort. however those that cant keep up with the pace, lag behind and get eliminated.

now if i apply this thought of mine to my previously mentioned sentence.
it make perfect sense.
'the further you advance, the more you FORGOT the toughness and stress you've encountered back then'

at every stage of our life, especially those with milestone. we are being stressed out and challenged roughly the same. but why we thought it was so much easier back then?
it is because we've forgotten how much we've struggled too in the past.
think about this.
in the past u studied a month before example and thought its sooo fucking hard and stressful
after 5years, you, ALSO studied a month before exam and thought its soooo fucking hard and stressful. but this time you may think it was so much easier back then.
get the point?
i may not have the ability to bring out my point well. but i hope its understandable. well at least for my future self who are too bored with life and decided to read back these stupid posts which no one cares.

and now. why i hate those 'age = adult'(i say this because they are just adult because of their age. sometimes they don't fucking think before speaking. many of them)
saying things like 'you now can study should study more.. don't be like us. we now regretted so much not studying. now work so much harder than studying. you should cherish it. i'll gladly go back to study if i got the chance'

HEARD THESE THINGS COMMON RIGHT?
okay i'll break them down into 3parts.

1)work so much harder than studying.
2)i'll gladly go back to study if i got the chance
3)we now regretted so much not studying

tired.. tmr continue.

2011-10-09T21:36:00.001+08:00

a girlfriend gave a challenge to her boyfriend
to live a day without her.No communication
at all and said if he passed it, she'll love him for ever.
The boyfriend agreed.He never texted her
nor cAlled his girlfriend for the whole day
without knowing ,his girl friend has 24hours left
because of a cancer.

after a day ,
he exicitedly went to his girlfriend ,
'' i did it baby'' but tears felL as he saw his girlfriend lying
in a coffin with a note: ''you did it baby..now please do it every day
..I LOVE U ""

FAKE~
yawn...

2011-10-09T00:07:00.003+08:00

deleted

2011-10-02T15:24:00.000+08:00

LOVE YOUR PARENTS !

"My mom only had one eye. I hated her... She was such an embarrassment. She cooked for students and teachers to support the family. There was this one day during elementary school where my mom came to say hello to me. I was so embarrassed. How could you do this to me? I ignored her, threw her a hateful look and ran out. The next day at school one of my classmates said. ......"EEEE, your mom only has one... eye!" I wanted to bury myself. I also wanted my mom to just disappear. So I confronted her that day saying, "If you are going to make me a laughing stock, why don't you just die?!" My mom did not respond... I didn't even stop to think for a second about what I had said, because I was full of anger. I was oblivious to her feelings. I wanted to be out of that house, and have nothin to do with her.
So I studied really hard, got a chance to go Singapore to study. Then I got married, I bought a house of my own. I had kids of my own. I was happy with my life, my kids and my comfort. Then one day my mother came to visit me. She hadn't seen me in years and she didn't even meet meet her grandchildren. When she stood by the door, my children laughed at her, and I yelled at her for coming over uninvited. I screamed at her, "How dare you come to my house and scare my children!"
"Get out of here! Now!!!" And to this, my mother quietly answered, "Oh, I'm so sorry. I may have gotten the wrong address," and she disappeared out of sight.
One dat, a letter regarding a school reunion came to my house in Singapore. So I lied to my wife that I was going on a business trip. After that reunion, I went to the old shack which was my childhood home out of curiosity. My neighbors said she passed away.
I did not shed a single tear.
They handed me a letter that she wanted me to have:
My dearest son,
I think of you all the time. I'm sorry that I came to Singapore and scared your children. I was so glad when I heard you are coming for the reunion. But I may not be able to even get out of bed to see you. I'm sorry that I was a constant embarrassment to you when you were growing up. You see.... When you were little, you got into an accident , and lost your eye.
So I gave you mine.
I was so proud of my son seeing a whole new world for me, in my place, with that eye.

With my love to you,
Your mother
"
Pass this on if you have the heart to, or just ignore it as if you have never read this.....
Like · · Share · 14 hours ago ·

aww... so sad.. so touching..
.
.
.
.
.

FAKE..

2011-09-30T21:07:00.000+08:00

a melancholic mother,
and a choleric father.

TBC

2011-09-25T11:59:00.001+08:00

Damn sian... Waiting for mac to change to lunch right now. Have been waiting for 25mins zzzzzzzz.
So late wake up still eat what breakfast nia. Waste time man.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

2011-09-24T15:29:00.002+08:00

lols.. still hate seeing people posting stupid things on facebook.
check this out

'weather forecast for tonight : dark with a chance of pain'

SERIOUSLY?! yeh duh oh course i know he is not really refering to weather but instead, the mood.
yes i know it. but come on..
need attention by saying your emotions i got no much objection.
But saying in a way like not telling people directly but want people to know
by saying them in a 'chim' or 'you-thought-it-was-classy' or mysterious, but in fact it is fucking not making any sense
that, is stupid.

seriously??
Which night is not dark? thats one.
2nd one even funny.
with pain.
PAIN??
what got such thing as pain-weather?
if you are gonna express ur emotion in a weather way, do it fully. dun half half. it makes you look like a fool to some freaks like me.
i got no opinion if u are gonna say with thunderstorm/shower/drizzle or whatever other weather which symbolise ur 'pain' BUT NOT PAIN MAN!

people.. please think before you type if not you will just make a fool out of yourself on other people's screen.

2011-09-17T17:59:00.001+08:00

greatest setback: concentration

i don't doubt that my brain is inferior to others. but this one word make me fail and lose utterly.

2011-09-04T21:57:00.001+08:00

It feels awesome to be back with old friends again.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

2011-09-02T23:06:00.001+08:00

I just feel that nobody is interested in whatever I say... So I refrain from saying.. The feeling when ur trying to say something, but got ur topic changed it ignored rly sux..

And I still strongly believe that when ppl gain something, they lose something.. Or did it just happen to me? Cuz im afraid I may lose a really really close friend.. But I aint making any move..

Jh.. U'll regret..

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.4

2011-08-09T21:13:00.001+08:00

family drama again...
zzz

2011-07-18T22:57:00.001+08:00

I hate awkwardness.. Fucking awkward.. Do I feel good? Totally no. Already didn't want to go... Shouldnt have gone. Sucks.

TTS

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

2011-06-30T00:30:00.003+08:00

study so much,
but in the end never take the paper.
for what fuck?
for what fuck the past few days grinding so hard?
this really suck big time.
gpa comfirm fall below 3.5 this time round..
fuck this shit!
FUCK!

2011-06-28T16:19:00.001+08:00

Missed my paper... One of the paper I studied most, I missed it. Miserable.

2012, u better be real..

Published with Blogger-droid v1.7.2

2011-06-13T04:58:00.001+08:00

My once really close friend nabbed for murder...
Everyone on Facebook say that they were close friends and felt sad for him.. But seriously. Other than his family, no one spend more time with him than me..
Hais.....

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

2011-05-23T20:59:00.002+08:00

studied overnight.. to get those information on bio into that
tiny-slow-easilydistracted-cantfocus-pathetic brain of mine..
yay~ finally finished.
and oh whao! its already 5am! time to get rdy for school.
done all the shits, and went to wear my shoe.
wear my sho.. ee......
.
.
.
.
.
.
huh? why isit so bright?
OH SON OF A BITCH! ITS 9AM!!!!!!
paper starting at 10.
i takes me 2hour to get to school on peak hour.
....................................................
LML.

totally broke down mentally for a moment..

2011-05-21T02:32:00.001+08:00

Okay... So I believe many should have seen this scenario where in a class, or in a big family reunion dinner, where the 'adults' who always take joy in comparing kids from different parents. For teachers, comparing students.
Okay so the thing is, especially teachers, they loves to compare attitude and results. And judge who are the better students. From just these points. And what they love to add after their judging is who will become more successful in the future, and who would become some failure. In some sarcastic tone somemore...
Alright so this is what troubles me. From the current attitude, they can forsee? Well and some really old teachers would lime add 'from my xx years of teaching, I'll never be wrong'
Ok, so this is what wrong, few teachers gave me judgement... Really really fucked up one included. But seems like they were all blinded by those boot licking act one good image pussies in front teachers. Their xx years of teaching obviously went down drain...

Okay.. So this is what I think.
NO ONE CAN PREDICT YOUR FUTURE..
Another opinion of mine which is that in a class for example, those more-lazy-playful note as hardworking people can succeed better In life in the future. Now before I continue, I have to say that, I am not one of them, so in not like advertising myself or what. So this has 0 bias. Just speaking what on my mind..

Well the reason is simple. Imagine a class. Example erm a best class in a good jc. We should know that every class consist of nerds, muggers,lazy,playful students.. So now think.. Why some of them can sit down and study while others just wanna have fun?
Maturity plays an important role.. As we grow, we realise the important and cherish our opportunity to study or in anything. Naturally, they'll become more hardworking.

Then teacher see, and like those muggers, and say those playful ones will fail in their life. But is the teacher retarded? Did he/she(normally a she) forgot everyone grows, at different stage, and so do our mindset? She neglected this point.

Bear this in mind...
2 student. One mature, potential fully unfold, hardworking.
Another still playful, not serious. Potential kept hidden.
With score the same results to enter this class...
Sooner or later as both grow, both hit a certain maturity. Both potential fully unwind.
Need me to explain more?
Common sense from here on

Alright, I believe if by any chance any one saw this would probably say that im just jealous or angry cuz my teacher scold me or what.
Sorry to disappoint you, none of that happened. Instead, my friends got judge, and im just a average guy in class, thinking what people overlook.

So there you go. Oh yeh.. From teacher's point of view.
Okay they may say that a wake up call for students.
But seriously. Me, as a student. With lots of experience in this field, getting judged, counceled and shits. I dare to say. This does work a sit on students who dont give a f.
For my face worst. When they said it to my face in the past. All I thought of was revenge.. Nothing related to bucking up my work. If you really wants to motivate students of the 21st centuries, no matter how many years of teaching you done, hard approach does not work....

That my opinion.

Phone's auto correcting system kinda sucks...

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

2011-05-19T21:28:00.001+08:00

Oh no.. Saw her thrice today, obviously she didn't notice me. But damn! I am actually kinda missing her...
Thats weird.

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

2011-05-18T00:52:00.001+08:00

Testing

Published with Blogger-droid v1.6.9

2011-05-04T23:46:00.001+08:00

i.need.help.

2011-04-24T14:32:00.001+08:00

whao my bro joined Christianity O.o
my mum find out = gg
she always said i join christian nvm. but if my brother join..
thats the end of it..
hmmm

2011-04-24T00:36:00.002+08:00

people kept telling me i think too much.
well i knew that quite long ago.
tat i think too much into every single stuffs.
but more about, im guessing what people really meant
what they were thinking
whats their motive, intention.
but from my experience, it is quite close most of the time.

but as time goes by..
its kind of a burden to me.
this habit.
is like.. it became a habit to analyse every single shit.
their tone, their body language, their exclamations their eyes.
so the prob is, its not like im some psychiatries who can read minds.
of cuz sometimes i interpret wrongly.
people dont think so much when they sms or just talk in life.
then sometimes small details they accidentally make without any intention can cause my misunderstanding.
then i may thought they are angry with me, or bored by me or shit like these..
well.. some of them may be true.. who knows?

so one day i came across this news which interest me.

It's good to think - but not too much, scientists say
By Katie Alcock
Science reporter, BBC News
so the article goes..
they did a research on people.
people who think too much,
have more cells in an area of the brain known as the frontal lobes.
also he/she generally have poorer memory and may also be depressed
l0ls!!! interesting news..
so what i can do?
meditate? l0ls.

now FOP is over..
i rly feel empty.
like.. even tho i got many things to study and projects coming up..
i feel so bored. like totally not looking forward to tmr.

fallen in love.
with symphony orchestra!
classical rock is nice too!

2011-04-23T14:48:00.003+08:00

alright.. it may be too soon to think about this..
but alot of times. i cant help but worry.
how the hell can i buy an apartment before 30...

okay lets say a simple fourroom flat.
at ang mo kio is already four hundred thousand..
400 000
this is nearly half a million! omg.
lets see. lets say everything goes well super smooth and lucky for me
IF i get a degree --> which is kinda impossible =(
and i start working after 3years in uni
i would be starting at 18+3(poly)+2(ns)+3(uni)
26 years old..
starting pay. $2.5-$2.8k.
lets say i save alot.
i say $2k a month.
IF provided all 4 years until 30, no retrancement no jobless no shitty stuffs.
i get 12x4x2k = 96k
this value... is what. not even one quarter of the apartment!
OMFG! WHEN CAN I GET MARRIED!
no wonder singapore birth rate low.
no income = no family = no babies
those who studied social studies should knows what happen after that..
then vicious cycle.
crap.. how to survive!
(on yeh i have include vehicles man!)

seriously.. i wonder have anyone of my friends gave a thought to it. cuz like nv heard them mentioning before..
well i personally keep thinking abt it l0ls.

2011-04-22T23:33:00.002+08:00

alright. i think quotations are stupid..
they sound nice, i couldn't agree more on that.
but seriously..
do they even make any sense at all -.-"

quotations are full of loop holes and super one sided.
i dun even know why on earth they are so famous..
just one person people amire said something he just thought of on the spot.
and they go 'whao! true! omg so brilliant'
and boom! quoted for centuries.

used to have extreme sleeping routine.
after last year my heart irregular beating for few minutes which got me worried.
and tried to sleep normal. aiyo, weird thing is ytd after reaching home,
lie down on bed and there goes again..
its kinda scary,, it is really beating very hard i can even see it clearly on the skin,
very clearly like its jumping out. and is totally irregular.
not normal beating..
hmmmm im not obese so should be alright i guess.
privilege of skinny people..
alright i hate being so thin...

LML

2011-04-20T22:19:00.003+08:00

aint as difficult as i thought.
overestimated the weight.

asked a seller whether there are any more apple pies left,
cuz i was kinda addicted to their apple pie.
he answered very nicely, that there are no apple pies today,
then follow some some apologies and recommendation of other stuffs.
then explain to me why today dont have blah blah blah.
yeh even though i didn't ask, he still took his time to talk to me.
thats this attitude, which makes customers come back? or am i addicted to his big smile?
it sounds kinda gay the fact that hes a guy.
but well.. i think this kind of attitude is what really make customers come back for more..
if your food are good, but service sux? i wont come back.
if your food is soso and service is excellent? i will definitely come back.
if your food is brilliant but you are indian? i will ask everyone to thrash your stall..
nah jk.. i not that racist.

2011-04-20T18:47:00.004+08:00

great.. everyone is busy.
the weird thing is, 4 of us same class.
3 busy only i not busy.
hmmm let me guess.

1 busy DotA
1 busy mugging chapters not yet taught
1 busy sleeping

so now im wondering how on earth do i bring back 10dozens of drinks from centre.
tmr even more exciting, bringing them to school, during peak hour on train.
sian.. why has it got to start at 9 tmr..
if only it start at 8, then i can go school much earlier.
.. still having muscle ache from ytd dawn's workout and sprinting..
LML Love My Friends

2011-04-18T20:56:00.000+08:00

sorry joon houng.
i let you down.

2011-04-18T13:26:00.001+08:00

my ability once again got disapproved...

wth is this why is everything going down slope these few weeks...
gotta get back up somehow.
i seriously.. very.. fail.

2011-04-18T07:39:00.002+08:00

everytime typed alot of things, and just when the moment im going to press send.
i deleted everything.. cuz i dunno if they are the appropriate things to say or not..
or maybe i shouldnt think too much and just let myself out
or isit better to jus keep them?

school in an hour! Cheesus!

2011-04-17T01:41:00.002+08:00

alright. i seriously think overseas trip to help people,
organised by schools are completely redundant.
it is stupid.
yes you 'say' you are going there to help people.
yep you say that and go there and help what?
what they are actually doing is
breaking into their schools disrupting their lessons
using their resources
dominating their shelters and they have to squeeze to other rooms
disturbing their daily activity by 'attempting' to help such as carrying water, cooking.

l0ls.. so what everyone gained at the end of the trip?
students and teachers gained
fun and experience (without a doubt)
those people living there gained
nothing in practical.
maybe some may feel happy as there as they see other people coming their place.

to put it a nice way.
its a helping trip.
truth? its a total waste of time and money.
alright some may say, in this case, my friend told me she can go there and teach those kids stuffs! abd xyz 123.
right. so there are already teacher teaching them there.
and you go in to take over the classroom and teach yourself.
laugh out loud.
think about it. i dun have to ellaborate. its total rubbish.

in some case. maybe they dun even have a classroom. then go there teach.
1week.
okay lets say they learn a to z.
then? what can they do with it?
go out to some city and start their own business?
nah after you are gone. i give them 1month.
1month is the amount of time those alphabets stays with them.
why? cuz this aint practical at all. they cant feed themselves by reciting those alphabets can they?
yes people say dun give them the fish. teach them to fish their own fish (somethng like that)
but the problem is. 1week u only taught them how to connect the bait to the string!
so what can they do with it?!

seriously.. and the expenses.
lets say 10people go there for a week.
use their already-very-limited food water and shelter there.
and also the air ticket there? dun need money?
right. so spent over $200 a person a total of $2000bucks to go over there.
to disturb lifes.

if you really have the heart to help people.
you should have use that brain of yours if you have any and send that $2000 over there!
$2000 can build many shelters over there already comeon!
are they even thinking or not?
you call that help?!

alright. one more example showing this is not a helping trip.
a group of friends of mine.
asked mewant to join them overseas to help at india anot.
so i ask go there do what blah blah blah.
after i heard it, i gave them what i think. they say i heartless but they were speechless.
right. so after a week. i ask them when they are going out of curiousity.
and one of them said.
nah not going already.
so i asked why?
they say, because they changed place. i dun like that place..

hmmmm.
so afterall..
they.
just.
want.
to.
have.
fun.
if they really think they can help by going over there(which i dun think so)
they would have went regarding the location!
they just want to go there and have fun.
BOOOOO!
true intention exposed.

my point is..
if you want to help people.
do something practical..
-.-"
END

2011-04-16T00:50:00.002+08:00

went for blood test at clementi polyclinic early in the morning.
great experience. i mean the whole process. not the blood test.
started with a given room number.
waited 30mins outside that room 19 im assigned to, and noticed that the number didnt even change. so i went in and check. they were kinda busy i guess, so directed to the service counter.
when my turn, i showed them my appointment which directed me to room 19.
they say 'if it is stated room19 then it is room19. you should check with the person inside again.
right. so waited 15min at the service counter and went back room19.
wehn there this time, different people.
she told me in a nice and poliet tone that i was assigned a wrong room and asked me where and when i registered.
told her, she gave a slight sigh as though she knew who cause this trouble. then re-directed me to the correct room.

alright so i waited for an hour for the wrong room.
but i was really relaxed then..
and i was pretty impressed with how calm and polite the nurse who cleared my trouble was.
she is from china.. so seriously i dun understand why people discriminates china people so much..
i mean i understand why but. i dun think they really should.
so anyway after rounds or redirecting, its finally my turn to take my blood!
so excited dunno for what reason.
i even knocked down a dustbin which attracted the whole floor's attention on me as though i was caught molesting old lady or what.
went in. looked throughout the process.
l0ls when she finally poked me after all the antiseptic etc, she waited for 5s..
10sec..
15sec.,..
then i ask her
'no blood coming out ah?'
nurse: *smile* you got a stingy vein
me : haha. eh you want to try the other hand? maybe more
nurse : you like needles alot eh?
l0ls but still she poked my other hand.
hais too little blood.. ><"
when i went out i asked my friends out of curiousity how long the nurse took to fill up one tube.
1st '1 to 2seconds?'
2nd 'forgot.. less than 5seconds?'
me 'oh.. i also around there.'
truth is i took 15sec for 1 tube. another hand around 10sec.. zzz
wth?! so much difference l0ls. i remember when i did the blood experiment in sp lab.
everyone can squeeze out 2drops of blood easily from one finger.
me.. poked 4fingers, one of the 4 fingers poked 2 times.
only squeezed out that 2 pathetic smudged blood. boooo!

hais but still i was amazed by her attitude.
Actually i think singapore's service standard really improved dramastically over the past decades..
well even tho i was a kid i still remember.
hmm it is definately a good thing. customers happy, they happy. mutuallism.
i really appreciate this kind of people who make your day.
well i was leaving, i saw a feedback 'box' meaning there should have a feedback form somewhere.
i wanted to fill in to let them know i appreciate the kind hospitality.
but geez.. my friend thought i was being sarcastic and just pulled me away l0ls.
too bad.

but seriously. these people deserve your thanks and appreciation.
appraisal are what keeps people from getting motivated in their job.
well atleast thats what i believe.
some people had the passion. but due to working for too long, and lack of praises, they lost the passion in their work. and just regard their work as pure source of income.
compare this to a person, who like their job and have the passion.
he/she did well for it and received what they paid off.
the praises and appreciation from customers gave them the reasons to continue.
or even work harder.

it actually happened to me before.
once i worked 25hours straight.
many didn't believe cuz i was just a 16 and it was my 1st job.
well i started off the day like always. chiong ah! fight for work!
got things do. no things ask for things to do. stupid? or smart?
but after 10+ hours. felt so torn. but what kept me going on and not giving up, is the manager's recognition.
when i was really tired and felt like going back. i remeber one staff came down and asked me.
joon houng. you are working for so long today you sure u can take it anot..
you've worked hard in the morning. i can let u go back if u are tired. just let me know.
that phrase 'you've worked hard' suddenly gave me the adrenaline rush.
whao i was like instantly charged up!.
then when my power ran out again. another one praised me for a job well done..
this went on and on. haha and my eneergy is never going to run out!
thats weird. but again thats the power of words.
i dun care maybe what they say are just to encourage me or not.
my point is. we should show our appreciation to people who worked hard to bring out the best to their customers!
its rly simple to do.
a simple sincere smile and thank you will do the job if you dunno how to show appreciation.

i dun like the way some people think that they pay the money,
and everything should goes like this.
taking things for granted and not be grateful. yucks!

waiting for test result. hope i already got those antibodies and dun have to go for extra vaccination! troublesome and they cost!

2011-04-15T00:41:00.001+08:00

plain an simple is the best.

2011-04-14T12:50:00.002+08:00

aww man.. looks like one more person found this blog.
well i didn't tell anyone abt this because many of my post are subjective or offensive.
woke up today at 8 for optic fibre installation. woots! they say x10 speed.
currently i am downloading most musics at around 5mb in 3seconds.
meaning next time is 100mb in less than 10seconds?
sure not.. sound like a flop to me.
so 2 person came into my house.
while i was opening the door for them, i kinda hesitated and feel like asking for their prove.. as in their documents to show that they are 'real' and not some theifs.
why? cuz one of them, body fully tatooed. at his late 20s or early 30s, sleeveless, unshaved ( not armpit.. i mean face)
scars on arm and face..
well those features which makes parents goes
'hey! boy dun stare at them. later they eat you.'
gangster
'fuck, that guy looking for trouble eh?'
kids
'waaa they guy is scary..'
old grandma
'what?? i cant hear you?? come closer i want to see your face...'
nah kidding. well anyway
his image presented to me made me doubt this guy's intention.
people always says dun judge a book by its cover..
but. comeon be honest. how many people can actually do that?
i mean its not wrong to have scars or tatoo.
but you should be responsible for your own image..
well from my own opinion.
image DO matters. especially in workforce.
some face honestly just doesnt give consumers a sense of safety.

ah wadever. not like he can help it.. i know many people of this kind,
were some gansters in the past.. then went to jail and came out having difficulties joining back society.. yes they do changed so its kinda hard for them.
when he came in, i found out he was blasting music in his ears while his other partner handle the wire stuffs outside the house.

so this get me thinking. why is he blasting musics?
probably he've heard many whispers among people, talking behind his back, and he may feel dissapointed or sad. so just blast them so he could'nt hear a shit.
this make sense what. people dun blast their music during work.
its a form of respect..
well actually i kinda pity him.
but well. he cant change his past..
but what he can do now i think.
is to atleast put on a smile on his face man..
comeon. if your physical appreaance frights people.
then use your lips and eyes to balance out.
atleast do some greeting and smiling.
this not only makes customer happy, this also gives you a better image.
he could improve on that.

wish him all the best.

ytd night, me and my mum was talking about some news.. and she mentioned something abt japan which really sadden me..
okay normally disasters of other countries didnt affect me much.
but this time she says,
experts predicted a 8-9 magnitude earthquake is going to happen in japan soon.
if its above 9..
that is it for japan.. it will become a lost city..
i really feel the pain for them.. after the initial tsunami, i've seen many people on the net,
cursing them
'serve them right'
'yeh your retribution!'
yeh i know why, its because of the world war 2.
but comeon! how retard can those people saying this be?
fuck! those are like what? 50+years ago? comeon those freaking sadist soldiers were already went back to the earth laying in peace or maybe suffering in hell!
(sorry i dun believe what i just said)
well the main point im trying to deliver is..
THIS HAS GOT ABSOLUTLY NOTHING TO DO WITH THOSE
INNOCENT,HARDWORKING,POLIET,TALENTED,RESPECTFUL PEOPLE LIVING IN THAT BEAUTIFUL CITY NOW!
what are these people like this.. -.-"
white crows..
or black sheep.. whatever.

hais may god bless them!
whichever god that actually exsist.. go and bless them!

2011-04-13T21:51:00.005+08:00

right. after thinking back what i just wrote.
i realised it sounds kinda emo.
nah no way! i am not.
after a bath and yeh! emotion back in check!
life is great!
now thinking back.. i kinda miss working on the bonding session man!
it was totally a great.. hmmm
i wouldnt say experience since i've done them couple of times already..
hmmmm okay i was a great recap for all those skills i've picked up in life!

but still there are alot of room for improvements!

1st: I HAVE TO GIVE WORK TO MY HELPERS!!!!
alright.. i found that after 5years.. i still didnt change much in this aspect..
but well as a strong choleric i am, i kinda hard u know..
the principle of me is 'dun wait for task given. ask for it!'
it is not quoted from anywhere like some people who like to act one chim quote other people sentence and put them of facebook. (l0ls!)
well so.. for me.. if u didnt ask for job to do.. i wont keep pushing you.
well actually i improved little bit. at the start. i did try to distribute jobs man.
just that i ask 5people to do. only 4person attually replied
and 2 out of the 4 person are crapping a whole lot of shits and in the end find a excuse not to do..
steady! i love singaporeans! woooo!!!
well so because of this.. i might as well do myself.. zzz unless i really cant handle that alone. i dun like forcing people nor i like being told what to do.
weird me. if i planed to do something and u ask me to do that before i excuted it,
i wont do it...
so well.. thats it.. gotta learn to distribute work AND make them do it!

2nd: communications! mass communication. contacting 60+ people alone aint no easy job.
sending out 60messages and while my phone is still sending, i received some replies, which got my phone to hang..
time to change new phone!
nah dont have the money... hais! actually got a target in mind.

sony Ericsson Xperia x12 Arc

OMFGWTF!! this is so nice! that design totally so simple yet unique!
more importantly, the camera functions! other function i dun give an F~
l0ls! the camera even tho its just 8, they have got real camera functions!
they have got BRAVIA's engine installed and also exmorR!!!
for this, we dun have to bring 2 earpiece out too.
normally sony's phone's earpiece need a special connector to connect to the phone.
this one is a normal 3.5mm audio jack!
shiok ah!
too bad. not out in SG yet.. hais when it release in SG comfirm price very sexy..
SO ANYWAY. YEH communications need improvement. next time, i should appoint someone from each 'clique' and just inform them to ask them pass down the message.

3rd: should have appointed varies post earlier.. those OIC 2IC log etc!
those kinda stuffs should be apointed before planning. so that they can plan their individual field, supporting my job distributions.. if they do it themselve.. it will make them have more passion in the work. since they do it THEMSELVE!
hais this time i just bao sa bao hai. cover mountain cover sea.
i am admin, logistic,OIC,game master's master, whats more?
oh yeh i gotta aknowledge someone latar(i purposely spell it this way)!

4th: i need to instill more dicipline in them.. the way they slack are too much! volunteer purely for the girls and cca point!! i. am. seriously. disgusted. even tho i dun voice it out.
right easy to say. but its rly hard. i mean they are my friends. and most of them are even older to me.. someon if u ask a person who is yyounger to tell me wat to do? i will cum in his face. nah just kidding. i respect everyone who deserve them
but well i must admit i did kinda able to gain some of the helper's respect eventually. which is quite a achievement. i thought i couldn't at first.
hmmmm only a couple.. who just kept joking around.. (actually only 1)

5th: MOTIVATE MY TEAM! hais! i kinda ignored this. cuz i was thinking 'they dun want do their problem.. no time to entertain them.. i just have to do it well myself'
l0ls thinking back now.. do it yourself? jump off the building you mean? l0ls happy cracking your brain joon houng 2months ago.
haha the report done seems kinda easy and simple.. seriously when you are actually thinking hw they should goes, its ot so simple.
sure its simple to come out with a timetable.. but whether they will work anot? hmm
i like to spend my time visualising stuffs while closing my eyes. to see what posibilites may occurs and tries to solve them before.
actually.. im kinda proud of some flexibility things i've done during the session. even tho they are small stuffs. it feels great to feel needed.
honestly.. i am not trying to show off or what. well im typing here not like any1 i know is reading so.
i think this bonding session will crash if i wasnt there..
my partner was great too, but if were to solo, may have some difficlties too

hmmm thats all i can think of..
oh yeh 1 more regret of this session is.

i lost a potential close friend.. =(
hmmm its kinda hard to say.. for me. friends which i can actually open my heart to currently is.. one.
during the bonding session, i met a friend, who i feels really good talking to her.
but well i haven said anything personal yet. just normal chatting.
oh yeh.. im totally not trying to find myself a girlfriend or whatever.
well so. i just think she is really a nice girl. those type who i would talk to..
hmmm today she kinda spotted me and ask why i was kinda moody,
haha wanted to try opening myself but then not in the hall la of cuz.
wanted to jio her dinner as a friend but she got cca after that. too bad
and so yeh, we are from different course, so i guess no more chance we'll ever meet or chat again.
kinda sad man.
since she is those who attend alot programmes and events. maybe to her im just another friend she met during these events.
hmmmmmm OH YEH!
just now while departing. i accidentally send a message which i think may have freaked her out. i typed this
'hais sian. you gt cca, want to ask you out for dinner' something like that.
and boom! she stopped replying.. omfg.. did she get the wrong idea? l0ls should i clarify with her not? oh man.. i should watch what i type man seriously.
hais..

oh yeh one more regret..
we didnt even had a group photo man.. i mean we like spent 3months together preparing this. atleast should take a picure for memory ma.. aiyo wasted.

thats all for today,,
omg i am totally insane.. 3extremely long post in a day..
clap..
actually i still got tons of things to say man!
last thing.. i am not a emo guy anymore!!!
i love this world =) (probably)
well atleast i can still feed my stomach when im hungry and have a home to return to.
im lucky!

LML!

2011-04-13T20:52:00.002+08:00

just reached home.
i could've reach home 2hours ago..
what just happened?
was waiting for bus at ang mo kio back home..
then, took the bus which brings me back to singapore polytechnic.
AGAIN...
OMFG i was like dazing when i take the bus. then i realise. how is 7+pm. i should be on the bus back ang mo kio. why is this bus heading to sp?
zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz the happened the 2nd time already man.. geez
gotta clear my mind somehow.

so well.. finally the bonding session have ended..
i dun like how it ended..
mood was kinda bad.. well kinda covered it little bit at the end..
but still..
i had a grave mistake during the last session..
i guess i just got complacent because the 3rd session went super smoothly..
what happened? 4game masters thought they should be playing this game yet,wen they should.
so after 15mins then i realised that..
well made some changes to the timetable so everything still turned out well.
atleast freshmen dunno that something went wrong..
hais.. the breifing i gave for the last session was so dull!
almost let my emotion over took me. thinking about my parents..
zzzzz wadever.
i actually planned to like kinda celebrate together at the end of the session.
like atleast have dinner together..
ahh but 3 out of 6 of us got to go of early.
so well.. left me 2 member.
bad thing is only 2 person (1 useless(sorry to use that word)
to clear the whole hall.
good thing is. my good partner helped me cleared part of them together with me before leaving.
so was kinda gratful.
oh yeh.. i overheard a conversation which kinda little bit made me rolled my eye for 3 whole seconds.

person : miss jessy.. next year we still can participate anot?
jessy : nah i not very sure.. cuz it should be the next batch of year ones take this bonding session
person : hah! but i like this leh.. even tho it was so tiring.. i made many friends..
i hope next time still have sia. i like doing this

so i was thinking.. 'are you like trying to boast yourself or take credit in front of her? yeh of cuz, what you did for everything is just taking a class and listen to instructions' (sorry edit. not even listen to full instructions. tell u to do so many things, and just give the tired lazy face and ignored it. for so many games, you just sat there and let the opposite game master who is a new girl strugglig with 2 gclass giving instrcutions while u sit there and slack. cool)

so as usual didnnt speak a word.
after we went to eat, then when we were walking home. he said this
'waaa! so tired.. ' 'i miss them sia'
complain complain complain complain
'eh joon houng, why are you still wearing your jacket sia. not hot meh'
me 'l0ls when have u ever hear me saying 'im hot'? i not scared of warm one la.. somemore i lazy take out'

then he said this sentence which spark me off

'of cuz not hot la.. you dun need run around and talk to the class like us mah. you lucky ass of cuz not hot la'

nice one.. this is like the key to my locked emotions.
immediatly i replied in a challenge tone

'you sure you want to talk to me like that anot?'
'so you think you can do better at my job eh?'
'wait you done what again? run around? when on earth did u run. talk to class? i screamed to 10classes'
'game master big? comeone seriously i've been class or group incharge until bored la hor.'

i still have got so much things to say.. then thats where my other friend step in. i guess he kinda sense i am going to burst.. l0ls i think before that in the hall he already know i dun feel so nice. i can see his face that he knew.
well he changed the topic quickly.. i wanted to continue sprouting my unhappiness with him..
hais but well.. lets not spoil any friendship already..
i shall jus talk about him here to myself.
hais. so went back ang mo kio, then take bus back to timah, then take bus back again to ang mo kio, and finally home sweet home..

ahh hungry.. time to find something to eat.. shall do a review on everyone including me later

2011-04-13T12:27:00.003+08:00

kinda down today. for some reasons, i had alot flashbacks last night..
some family things again over my grandma.. again.
cause of all shitty trouble.. seriously i know it is morally wrong to say that.
but i hate her.. not because of me.. but because of my mum...
i really hate to see my mum suffering over her...

couldn't sleep the whole night. last time i see the clock 4am. next thing i know, alarm went off at 5am. l0ls i guess maybe is because my friend was kinda down the day before, which get me to think back my life..
hmmm i was a freaking cold and emo teen who didnt had any reason to live just 2years back. what made me that way.. what changed me.. what gave me the confidence to continue.. thats how i went down my memory lane.
its kinda cool.. so whole 4hours, i've been lying on the bed. doing a review on my life, marking significant changing point of my life.
well im only 18. but there had been alot changes man..
hais feel like telling someone. but they would just get bored and think.
aww its just another teen telling their boring life.
l0ls i believe everyone had their hard times..
well so i guess just keep to myself again.

well anyway,
finished 3 bonding sessions, left 1 more to go...
so far so good.. just some small problems here and there like any programmes will have.
today programme went well. but mood didnt go as expected.
i thought my emotions was under control, but still kinda gloomy today.

1st session. everything was messy. student helpers bloody late.
8.30 am report. at 8.50 only 2 out of 13 turned up.
comeon seriously. if you cant commit. still volunteer for fuck?
zzz time cramped alot. doesnt went according to time table at all.
used too much time.
but still.. everything went well.

2nd session. learnt from experience. removed and arrange something to the timetable.
everything went well. it feels great man. its like finally..
partly is bacause those bonding helpers were on time too. hais dun blame me for saying.. but honestly.. i think those from DBS, DBT, DCHE are more responsible and commited.. serve them right to get into good course..
but one thing i hate who didnt say out.. is the fact that my friends..
other comittee members. well, except 1 or 2. one actually, are behaving like small little pampered kids.
complaining how tired they are. how hungry how pitiful they are.
ask them to help out clear things. gotta ask twice or even thrice..
in the end i told my self..
*literally translate* beg other why not beg yourself..
so as usual.. settled most of the stuffs myself..
with the help of a capable teammate.
its a 'her' somemore.. i really like her. well not in the way of 'love' those like.
but that i think shes a nice girl. even though born with a silver spoon, she is not those pampared teen. she s independent and enthu abt life.
i like her that way. its kinda rare to find girls like this these days.
whao.. realised i praised her too much.
well so 2nd session went kinda well.

3rd session. which is just an hour ago.
hais it is so far the best one. best organised. l0ls i guess practice makes perfect.
but then my mood was the worst at this session.
tracing the root.. it may be due to ytd night lack of sleep.
flashback thoughts of 95% negative things.
morning came so bloody early at 6++, then 1 of my friend came at 7.15.. bloody hell. just came in and lie on the chair.. and when he feels the time is right when most people would be coming soon. then he woke up and start to act helping.
seriously whether he is really innocent or a actor, i dun like that.
then next friend came. even though he is later and did lesser things, i like him for his truthfulmess and poliet.
he appears playful. but deep down i can see.
he is respectful and know when to be serious.
so he came in, greeted us and asked for things to do. good attitude.. but i kinda ignoreed him cuz was kinda down. hais thats a thing i need to improve on..
emotion regulation! (well i already improved dramastically in last 2 years)

then finally everyone came. pretty good.. "kinda" on time. not exactly on time. but atleast better than 1st session. some more its so early. well 3rd session i think is the best.
oh yeh back to what have caused my mood today.
one thing during the bonding session
which gave me a 'slap in the face'
my heart really sunk so deep all of a sudden.. tried to cover it but my friend could see..
that sux.. well the last straw is that a freshman, a girl fell down.
okay there are obvious scratches on her shin(lower leg)
okay guess what, they are just some freaking scratches..
okay nvm so i just act one concern la. as a form of formality. cuz
i THOUGHT she got injured during game. then i must atleast cover the responsibility ma.
then next, miss jessy was informed.. then this is the part.
what she said to me. totally smacked me in the face.
she said it in serious tone and annoyed one..
'joon houng. what do you think you are doing? if they are playing so violent, you should have stopped them! you should be responsible for this. if this happens again i will have to stop this game. this is too rough. you should have told the game masters to take note of it' blah blah blah.. more things which insulted my ability.
okay this is what i wanted to say but kept it in my heart:

- i didnt know what caused her fall. so i should not talk back.
- im incharge of the overall programme. fair if i take responsible
- you call that pathetic scratch injury? i got punched in the face so hard my bone broke, and whole nose got swollen from bursted veins, and i kept completely quiet for an hour until i had difficulty breathing.. i was 12.
fell while having training, on some hard stones with glass shards(yes they are having constructon above and didnt had a boundary). they stab into the side of my stomach 1cm in i can see a thick sheet of white flesh. didnt speak a word until my coach realise my face turned white.
3 pathetic scratches? someon! how pampered are singapore kids? well i guess its alright since shes a girl.. nvm
- next. i didnt toldthos game master to becareful?!
i reminded them thrice... three times.. in the notes, morning briefing before start. and another time before the game starts.
- these are call accident. how would u expect games without any injury in a whole 750freshmen.. previous bonding session had6. why i know? the previous bonding session incharged talked with me before and i asked. 6.
- instantly. i feel that my impression i had so far on her got completely shattered. all the hardworks and efforts i placed in.
- i must not sprout a word. because i know that if i do.. i will end up like the past me.. i used to voice out every single unhappiness in me.. to anyone.

so i just hold down my 15% anger and 85% dissapointment.
after shes gone after some short reprimanding, i asked the girl with concern..
'hey are you okay? how did you fall?'
girl ' i accidentally fell down the drain'
me 'drain? you mean the corner of the hall? during which game?'
girl 'ah nonono.. is the drain outside'
me 'oh.. right. so not during the bonding session in the hall?'
girl 'yeh. not in during the game.. while i was coming to the hall'

brilliant.. so i just got my face slapped without a real reason.
perfect

after awhile. miss jessy came back to check on us again. i approached her.
wanted to clear my name. but then i couldnt do it..
why? nah forget it.. she fell coming to this bonding session. so lets avoid troubles.
then miss jessy ask 'so how. did you remind those game masters about game safety?'

me 'yes yes.. all done i reminded them again already. this wouldnt happen again. sorry about that.'

omfg what did i just said.. did i just took the blame? right nvm.
small thing. but to me.
i am those kind of person, who remember every single praises or negative remarks given to me.. no matter how small are they..

great. now having break, everyone is gone! the hall is all mine!
finally got time to feel the silence around me.
its been a long time since i type such a long post..

for the next session, so far so good. kinda prepared already.. hmm
now left th

wooo looks like my blog is being discovered by someone l0ls. shit kena caught.

2011-04-08T01:20:00.001+08:00

bastards.. seriously.. dun volunteer for something if you cant commit.
wasting other people's time.

2011-03-13T22:53:00.002+08:00

HATE.
hate to admit that. i really wanted to bust in my room which now became 'hers'
and throw her out of my house.
seriousky. fucking stay at malaysia la. come out sg for what?
destroy peace?
i grew up in a violent family since young.
fights and quarrels and cry almost everyday.
what cause it? the old fucking fag.
and finally she laid low for a while.
and our family finally got peace
for like 3 years or 4
then boom. she came back and try to destroy the peace?!
screw her man! i am seriously willing to pay people to punch her.
maybe not.
just hurt her enuf to let her feel the pain. but wont go hospital.
not that i care for her.
but if she does. she will make it so huge a commotion so big
that may even cause my family to kill each othr.
my mom said she'll poison my dad and my brother to death if my brother move towards her.
interms of relationship
she do it because she wans her to feel the pain.
she want to make it clear to her that she is the cause to her grandson and son's death.
sounds dramatic eh?
but
she
is
serious.
i know it cuz i seen her for 17year.
and now from what i see
my brother is trying his very best to be a filial grandson.
and well he didnt know whats going on tho.
and fuck i swear to god if it really happens.
i WILL torture her to hell.
i will make her regret for her life.
ass hole spoil my family.
i know this is morally wrong to do so.
but shyt it. i dont care anymore. seriously fuck!
she made my mom cries every single day.
and she is acting one innocent infront of my dad.
serious acting.
my mum dont let me say anything or open my mouth
cuz she and i both knows well
if i do?
hah. man fight will take place.
and its not like the past adult vs a 10+ years old kiddo.
its 2 man fighting. or even 3.
comeon imagine the scenario.
i seriously seriously
feel disgusted when i sees her.
i wanna see her suffer.
its seriously not fair. why is she snatching and enjoying all the love and attention?
i am not jealous bcuz i've nv had much from my dad to begin with.
well i just feel unfair to my mum

bypasser who may read this may think
'bah, its just another teenager feeling negative abt his family. and just being selfish'
to those.
fuck you. this is just whats happening now.
i aint no idiots and retards who complain abt their life on facebook
what hate their parents just becuz they dun have freedom or dun have money
comeone those are pussies who needs attention from people.
i would've posted there if i want.
my family problem begins since the start of my memory.

old fag. bring trouble to my house.
i seriously dunno what i'll do if she makes my mother leave home. again.
i think if it really happen.
i'll finish my mother's unfinished business.
revenge.

really want to tell someone more.
but screw it. telling any1 would just bores them
to them its none of their business.
sian.

fucking actress.
act until so poor thing.
too obvious.they dont see it doesnt mean i dun.
i already started ignoring her lately.
i aint have the paitience to act with her...
she doesnt deserve it.
at all.

.............................................................
after all, im still happy with my life.
LML
Love My Life.
im nt retard who takes their life so lightly and keep fucking them.
studpid people thinking they are the worst.
seriously. they think its cool t add a FML behind their life?
l0ls retards no life.

2011-03-01T02:25:00.003+08:00

seriously... im not a fucking racist because i want to.
its the stuffs and situations i experienced.
what i see what i hear wha i feel for the 18years.
i deem malays as freaking attention seeker. hooligans. lazy stupid and good for nothing.
indians.. well they are good actually just that i think they got some kinda attitude problem. weird habits. weird smell. which make me think of them as dirts, dirty stuffs. well even without their colours.
when i say what i think, i am aware that there are of cuz some indians and malays out there who are good. well just little.
hmmmmm

i seriously sometimes wish i could get rid of those dirts and pollutions.

2011-02-08T19:09:00.002+08:00

I felt really good! xD
Its just like i was carrying alot of bags with stone i found on my way to coffin.
didnt bear to put one of the heavy bag down cuz i was still having hope that it would turn out to be valuables inside. had been dragging it for so long and finally threw it.
now feel much lighter, though still carrying alot other weights.
haisssss

if there are people who attended JC AND Poly's science course,
i really want to ask them,
Is JC and Science course really so different?!
I AM FREAKING TIRED!
well this bag definately cannot throw, so just have to drag it along until i enter work force, where i have tocarry even more weight!

SIAN!!! FREAKING TIRED.

2011-02-03T22:31:00.003+08:00

Spent 6hours packing my wardrobe today.
Realised actually i have many clothes!!!
l0ls in a short 2years
my clothes, top only, excluding the home-casual-clothes
it mutiplied by around 8times?!
i remember last time i've only got 3clothes to wear out.
a green,white and orange xD
and 2 bermudas, a brown and a black.
5piece in total =P
l0ls that was really funny

actually i wouldnt say the amount i have now currently is alot,
well its alot for me but is nothing to alot others.

12 T-shirt
5 Collar-T
3 Long sleeve T
2 Sweater (hoodie and turtleneck
2 Short sleeve button shirt
2 Long sleeve Button shirt
1 Blazer
4 Shorts
3 Jeans
99 Red underwear
99 L Condoms

L0ls, my post always become crap at the bottom -.-"
well i dont have 99 red underwear duh?!!
cuz i dun wear them..
99 XL condom? nah, thats shit.
i use triple-XL.

suddenly thought of something today.
what am i to others?
hmmm let me name from age. Eldest to youngest

Workers,Students, Customers
Little brother
Friends, colleagues, Leader
Leader, Senior
Toy(throw 1 side after playing, when bored, take out and play again, then throw again)

Didnt name relatives relationship, cuz they would take forever!
well cant think of any1 younger than 17 this year.
cuz i dont have any friends younger l0ls.

cant believe a single meal can make me feel stabbed so deep in the chest

2011-02-03T22:21:00.002+08:00

Dad brought us whole family to AMK's newyork today.
haha food aint that nice today.
its been a while. 1 and a half year to be exact since i last visited newyork.
hmmmm cant help but miss..

2011-02-02T17:09:00.001+08:00

wtf is the point of creating a hotmail and you dont fucking check it?!!!!
its freaking hard to communicate this way.
use sms??
sms sux!

Hotmail Rox!
but why cant people constantly check their mail?!
okay la, if they still in primary or sec, dun check also nth
fuck man come poly, 18 liao still dont check mails.
laugh

2011-01-31T10:37:00.002+08:00

got a friend who is a fucking chiongster.
well i understand.
oh this is a science course.
everyone think that everybody is fucking chionging nerds etc.
comeon not me!
well atleast im not. i must admit i study more than past.
little more.
but what they do is
FUCK!!!!!! FUCKING CRAZY!!!

okay im really sian diao and well angry?
fucked up?
especially when i heard that completed revision and every reports.
sleeping only 3hrs a day and mugging forever at home not going out.
fuck!!!!
NO LIFE!
thats what i say theme veryone.
"COMEON!! get a life! dont be a nred. what else you know other than studies?"
well but when i think about why i feel this way
i found the root.
im just jealous.
i myself definatiely cant do it!
but i really hope i can be like them
focus, concentrate and chiong my studies and eventually ace them
well i hope i can do that but no.
i cant do it.
and to defence myself i just say
i got a life other than studies.
to be honest, i want to be like them. able to prorities stuffs and concentrate.
able to time manage.
i cant...
well i am a human
i got a life.
well to be honest when i think

2011-01-30T22:25:00.002+08:00

online shopping is so fun xD
click a few times and get it delivered to you in days!
ok la maybe weeks if not royal mail.
one bad thing is you wouldn't know the quality of it.
only visual reference.

got a card with you is even more fun!
can use it almost anywhere! 1year just pay some $$ only
that time went to a restaurant in our suit, wanted to draw out my card act one.
since already wear until like that, why not add on to it mah.
but the didnt do it, little too exxagerating.
but when i look behind, almost everyone is using cards l0ls!
aiya but still, im still a teenager.

talking about teenager,
just read online that an average male teenager only can have a attention life span for up to 30mins.
and during the 30mins, his mind would wander around aimlessly unconcoiusly for couple of seconds and back
after 30min. the mind can wander around for up to a min.
so this is why boys always lose to girls in studies in campus.
talkig about work? no more.

why all my friends say me raicist?
im not. cuzi know they ARE inferior.
i rly hate them seriously. cant blame me.
well atleast 95% of them i dont like
cant relally blame me. the indians i met so far
most of them suck dick.
i may get jailed or fined if my blog caught attention of some indians
and tehy not happy and report me.
too bad nobody read this blog. good =)
just in case, i had a 2nd blog for even more intense and offensive words.

l0ls talking about words,
every single word counts.
and resently i watch "lie to me"
and i found many people get influenced so much that they are desprately trying to apply those skills in daily life..
those are retards.
1st this story is a made up.
2nd you wont find something so coincident in real life
3rd every micro expression mean more than 1 thing, in show that pin point that 1thing to fit into the story.
4th those points are mostly only surfaces in really serious case, not daily life stuffs. simple thing like lying to parent, bf/gf/friends doesnt work.
5th those traits are only applied to noob liars. well wouldn't say noob, but fair or average., im pretty sure i wont give much microexpression when im lying.
oh yeh im a good liar.
6th. comeon, its just a show.

talking about show.
i found out alot police or crime show.
fucking fucking fake and no originality.
well i know shows are friction and well. SHOW
but still is too kua zhang.
everytime you would see some finale like this.

someone impt to main character got caught.
bad guy send them tape.
main character analyse the tape and some some fucking fucking small clue. string, lights,wall ceremics, reflections, double reflections can still see the name of the company in a logo on the shirt.
and they will make it soo cool that the technology can zoom so fucking deep and still make it clear. -.-"
TOO FAKE!
as if a criminal would buy a fucking good camera to video it.
+ videos pixel were bad all the while + even if they are perfect, they wouldn't be able to zoom so deep.
noob.

talking about zooming.
hais lets not talk anymore.
no time!
sian. newyear house going to be empty again!
gonna start jioing people come overnight or drink liao.
but most probably all got curfew or going visit all day long!!!

tmr is my day!
fame or flame!

2011-01-30T10:53:00.003+08:00

WOOTS! finally cleared an obstacle.
uncountable more to go.
that was really one tough one ><"
its hard to lead someone who is proer than you and try to keep him/her under control.
well i mean. she wants it soo perfect sometimes its beyond my reach.
as a leader i guess i could've done more.

wha could've been done more?
Get a clearer instruction from lecturer on project,
make sure i fully understand myself
Get them to check their email regulary.
better communication needed.
get them more motivated.(only managed to get 70% to do their work.
Do things without loopholes(kinda hard, if a person can do things perfectly, there wont be a need for group. there presence of group is to fill in whatever gaps a person left)

well hope i can do better in the next one.
Freshmen Orientation Programmes!!

l0ls got time to go find,
no time to come and just take.
kinda obvious. totally get it.
time for me to stop pestering...

2011-01-28T22:24:00.000+08:00

just when i needed you, you were gone.
again.

2011-01-26T20:40:00.004+08:00

being leader with 3 different group and project/events can be a hard thing.
cant believe i got am incharged of Freshmen orientation programme.
but still leading a team of 4exco and 30+ helpers feels great.
this is by dar the greatest event i've ever handle.
hope i wont fail myself.
another 2 projects is pretty killing me already. ahaha
worst thing is only one of the projects i know the people well.
other than that, i am incharging of a large group of strangers.
handling emails and messages, some of them i dun even know is who lols.
ncc land was nothing.
taking on less than 15 younger ones and less educated.
working together with cliques and friends.
no formality required.
now is much harder much more stressful much busier and finally much much more tried.
but i still like it xD

blazer makes man feel even manlier

wore it to school for presentation
l0ls dunno why every presentation my clique group do,
we are wearing more and more formal.
from normal shorts and slippers to
tidy with jeans to
collar and jeans to
formal short sleeve and jeans to
formal long sleeve and pants to
formal long sleeve with tie and pants and black shoes and belt to
now currently
blazer + t-shirt inside + formal pants and shoes and belt.
haha, i wonder when tuxedo

sp rocks!
sp's science totally pwn other polys!!
biomed 8
biotech 10
out of 9courses, highest cut off points from school of science is 14!!!
np out of 6 already got one course 18!!!

but their business courses are insane.
international business 6cut off?!?! WTF?!
gays

back to work...

2011-01-21T21:57:00.002+08:00

like to dota with my friends.
but then dont like it that they talk during dota.
1 of them a typical sanguine
a.k.a a talker.
knn super noisy. oh yeh hes the one guy i want to talk about alot.
cant kill = he lucky.
kena killed = he suay or they lucky again or he lag
miss attack = distracted or accident
chiong into a no chance battle alone solo thinking can be a hero and died = we nv support
kill someone = he pro
nv last hit = people ks

l0ls whatever u can think of what a sore loser will say is said by him.

i mean comeon. not that play games cannot talk la.
but wtf dun be a sore loser.
play game dont wanna lose. then go play dress up game la -.-"
you wont lose in a dress up game.
but any games with opposition comfirm got winner and loser.
why play a game when you only want to win?
for me i just enjoy the process
win or lose i end the game with a smile on my face
true sportmanship.
true story
suck my dick

2011-01-20T20:38:00.000+08:00

suddenly feel like trying cigarette

2011-01-17T22:38:00.002+08:00

quiz.
in a double decker bus 74 from buona vista depart,
travel to sp,
then continue its way all the way to hougang.
why during the first quarter of its journey, there were noticebly much more men sitting on the left side of the upper deck compared to the right?
what i saw today or to be exact almost everyday unless i was sleeping,
today for example i did come counting.
2tamil,8chinese including me and 1cau, all males on the left side.
on the right side theres a mid age tamil lady and a teen chinese girl.
no male.
whats with this pheonomenom?!
xD
of cuz i know why

2011-01-16T20:59:00.003+08:00

l0ls! just realised my parent bought presents for the maid last christmas 3weeks ago.
OMFG!!! and i dont even have hais sad.
not that i care about the present itself.
im just using myself as a comparison.
whao!! shes so impt?!
what a lucky maid sleeping more than 12hours a day

hmmm spent my whole day completely my restaurant new design again.
l0ls! 3rd major official grand whatever design.
actually not really complete.
just the inside done. the exterior design not done.
l0ls my exterior design was opied by my neighbours 2 times
haha is that really so beautiful?
l0ls i'll take that incident as a compliment though.
the interior by far i think is the nicest out of 3. when i finally done,
ahhh~ got a sense of satisfactory.
actually since 1month ago i already started on it just no time to complete it.
since my exterior still not enuf money to do it,
i haven display my new interior design yet,
want to release it together and enter random street for others to vote together.
remembered last time my 2nd design,
kns i put there let random ppl vote 1st day.
got 1 fucking joker go vote me 1/5stars
these people are just spoiler pussies of a bitch.
but subsequently others vote 5/5 x3
4/5 x2
somehow pull that joker 1/5 average score up alittle..
knn

how i met your mother rocks!
the newest season, season6 only had its episodes out until episode13.
im controling myself to not watch so fast, dont want nice time to pass so fast.
5more weeks exams again... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
WHY SO FAST?!

you always forgot....

2011-01-14T23:59:00.004+08:00

poly

i feel unfair,
dealed with it cuz its life.
just saying.

JH - fucking me
A - smart guy, helpful
B - solo kia. unsociable. go home right after school, basically no much life
C - average guy, know importance of work. quite okay.
D - total slacker. talk much i mean fucking much. (okay fucking many stories about him going to post)

-revision before exams (no specific timeframe. just overview of whole process)-
A reached school 1st everytime. crazy.
JH reached school 2nd. semi-crazy.
started revising.
start all problems and questions myself. struggle my way through.
until impossible for me to fnd the answer then i clear 2-3 short simple doubts such as yes/no answer with A
A clear some simple doubts with JH
both A and B asked with respect and basic manners when asking for favours like a normal civilised people would do

after very very long time then normally is B come. this is where the nice part comes in.

B: oi A. pass me ur answers for xxx leh, i want see.
A pass B, B started looking at all the questions and the near-perfect answers
from this he can learn how to answer,how to do problems.
-afer 1min or less-
B:oi A, how to do this? teach me leh.
A proceed to teach B.
spend alot time finally B know
B:kk thank you.

after a while C come
C:hey A, can lend me ur answers to compare with mine?
note this. compare. he himself did. just that he got some dunno how do, and he is trying to learn himself. after very long if he still dunno then he ask A for how to do it.
C asked with manners again like what a normal civilised human would do.

D last min finally come
D:oi A! come teach me how teach me this subject.
A:you which one dunno?
D:everything!
A:where?
D:faster just summarise everything from chapter 1 to where exam test la
A:zzz alright
D:just tell me what will be tested and how answer.
A preceed to teach
D:i dun understand la reteach faster faster!
A:tsk. -slightly annoyed but continue-
D:tsk what tsk
D completely asked it without manners like ordering. not a way to ask for favours.

JH finished his work himself after spenting alot time on it.
oh yeh, hes fucked up too

after a while A finally finish eaching D.
so let me summmaries everything

1-10 is the amount of time we spend on revising, achieving roughly the same knowledge.

A-11(natural hardworking and smart. im jealous)
JH-8(studied himself. got problems die die dun 1 ask)
B-4(read through briefily, ask A to fill him up mostly)
C-7(studied himself at home clear doubts if cant do it)
D-1(no manners, nv revise at all. completely depend of A)

okay now i know thats my problem for not asking for help.
well im a person of strong ego.
as in comeon. we are given a backbone so tha we can depend on ourselve!
why the fuck go depend on people?
for me i think its a disgrace to pester people with questions.
and sometimes dunno again is i think too much or what
sometimes i feel that they are annoyed when people ask them many questions
even if its just a slight glimpse.
it can be seen. because of this, i dont like asking too much.

D? i too many fucking things to say.
wtf people spend so much time to earn it
u? like pussy begging for help. not even begging, just asking or even ordering.
comeon earn it yourselve. come here make so much noise and disturb me revise.
every single problem and ask for help l0ls future i want see how you die.

TBC

med working drowzi liao. i love it. its like free an mian yao
ok la it actually cost money.
so i call it cheap an mian yao

2011-01-14T23:30:00.002+08:00

just went out for lunch with friend.
the fact that humans are really funny.
as in the way they speak, think, actions etc.

well in a relationship, the most important one can say is openness
ehh both physically and emotionally.
emotionally is universally understable
and i guess if i tell people this thing abt openness physically they would think i am crapping or laming.
haha thats the common perception of everyone on this kinda stuffs.
i can understand why but i dont see the reason.
comeon how old already. anyway those are experts advices.
not just me "crapping"
so anyway back to openness
going to zoom into emotionally openness.
when i say that i mean
being truthful, ehh honest and whatcha thinking
what not happy at
dont like what etc etc
with these spoken out
each other can understand and adapt accordingly.
well better than not knowing it and continue doing something that the other party dont like and finally
"bomb" without a reason or a sudden break up line.
well these days people use smses
cuz they dont have the guts to face each other.
so continuing on, too much openness can cause unhappiness once again.
well people try to keep secrets for various reasons i am sure everyone knows.
very good example is "white lies"
keep other aprty from being hurt,
eh and open too much can result into annoyed irritated.
bitched etc.
like what people always says truth are aways ugly.
but still again some people says
rather know the truth and be sad than never knowing it.
haha alot of times they say this because they dont know the truth, yet~

so back to main topic this is just one of the many uncountable weird feelings.

for me myself, i've never felt the feeling of not understand self-emotion
in fact i am interestng to know how it actually feels.
i mean how a a person be happy/sad without knowing why?
just trace back everything u did and you will find it.
but still many people could'nt
but what i am even more interested to look into,
is people who go crazy when they lack of sleep.
some claim it that they dont actually know what they are typing or speaking
hmmmmmmmmm i was thinking how can a human type or speak when they cant even know what they are doing? and still form words?
well humans are always weird. totally interested to see the
"live" of people typing randomly.

oh ya i think im a great liar and a great lie detecter.
maybe everyone are. im not sure abt that
maybe they just nv say it out like me.
sometimes exposing them will cause awkard-ness.
had a couple of friends from the past
in a group talk
especially when talking to girls
haha they try to impress them with something
or act one emo or sad wanting sympathy or attention
blah blah blah
well i can spot alot obvious lies.
bu those girls or even guys, okay everyone seems to believe him so much i dunno they are acting or really believe.
but they seems interested and totally undoubtful.
l0ls some is really pretty obvious i can still remember
most of the time their mistake is with the time.
like somethings which normally happens during this time, but they did something related to it at different timing.
weekends days etc.
well i believe people who trust easily is because they are not exposed to much lies, still pure or innocent gulible.
-thats nice saying for that. say until not nice?
is retard.
nah retard is too harsh. okay la. naive sounds more appropriate..

so humans.
interesting

2011-01-14T23:27:00.000+08:00

the only thing that remains unchange in this world is ever-changing.

not quoted from anywhere

2011-01-13T23:45:00.000+08:00

hmmmm...
well, i think i get the hint

2011-01-10T23:12:00.003+08:00

suay year. end of 2010 sick until 1st jan 2011
thought i recovered, and finished all medicine doc prescribe.
then after 1 week,ytd came up again
currently today morning measure 37.9 didnt bother,
39.0 after i reached home
predicting it to go even higher...
sian what a lousy start for a new year.
lost 3kg from last illness. i guess after i recover this round, i would weigh 45?
l0ls sian living on congee everyday

3out of 6drugs given cause drowziness... how study like tat.
given 4days mc. deciding whether to attend of not attend school.

2011-01-09T00:05:00.002+08:00

Prob with me.
i think too much.
Sometimes it can be good sometimes it can be bad.

good is that
normally im the 1st few who can sense/read/guess who others thinking and adjust according preventing a scene.
actually not much more.

bad is that
fuck. bring worries upon myself only -.-"
every single messages or sentence people say or sent me,
i analyse them. so every single word they use can change my judgement.
in a message since no emotion can be express,
puntuation and usage of words become very impt. i use them to protrait the mesage they are bringing. sometimes they just happens to type quickly and didnt bother to add punctuations or other stuffs, it often lead to wrong meaning.
many times i assume something else they meant. can be pretty awkard at times.

over think can also cause problems, example when im on bus
if i just finished talking on phone. and if any1 happens to turn around and look at me or plug in their earpiece or "tsk"
i will think, why they did these? did i talked too loudly? what is my impression on them?

also when someone tells me something, it wont take me immediatly to believe them
even if its just some small details.
like going out, one person last min cant turn up, and gave a reason through message. i will think
why sms? why only at the last min.
before that he sent me this. is this related to why he dun wanna come?
reasons seem too common and fake.
if im him, whats the reason if i ponned?

my friend help me buy drinks suddenly, why?

teacher called out my name to answer question, when i just closed my eyes for 30sec
did she saw me? or just random
whats with her tone?

oh yeh read a book previously. one scenario talks abt breaking passwords.
one expert say, normally people use password of significants or something they can think of, words or numbers.
only super paranoids use combination of random capital and small letters + random numbers. those passwords are unbreakable.
haha i dug out a small piece of paper i kept at the back of the drawer hidden between small opening which u need a thin long stick to dig it out.
its my ex password for some accounts just incase i forget anyway its
Hb6G3ft0SRl2
man am i really that paranoid?!!

well seems like thinking too much is bad.

2011-01-04T00:26:00.002+08:00

okay. i damn envy those who can speak and express themselve well.
i feel so fucked up when lots of great ideas,
points
or arguements which pilled up in my mind
but i just cant phrase it in a right way for everyone to understand.
sometimes after i say it 2 times. couple of people catch it, and help me rephrase,
then my thats when i was accepted.
40%times own self say and got accepted.
40%time people help me express then got excepted
20% time idk wtf the question is talking abt.

so yes i am turning one big round after talking about my weakness to say that my ideas and point are always great if i have them
thanks for saying me show off. =)
i appreciate it.

2011-01-02T22:44:00.001+08:00

who say someone 3years younger can lead their senior?
a choleric have many strengths and they know it.
so im not gonna give away any chance to show off.
man.. i rocks.

2011-01-01T23:07:00.002+08:00

having a melacholic in your group when you are a choleric can be very stressful and scary!
=(

im a leader of a group of 8.
most of them are phlematic or sanguine.
and 1 melacholic.
dang. when they summited their assignment to me. i totally shocked.
similar assignment

melacholic - emailed me on the 1st day
- 5pages
- include citings
- organised information
- tables
- perfect numbering
- formal email reply
- cover page and references done
- asking for current progress

phlematic - emailed my on the deadline
- half a page
- no citings, no numbering, no paragraphs
- nth else

now shes asking for the completed report to let her take a look.
><"! i haven even received others assignment i assigned them
l0ls!! chionging my own part and helpoing other group member do their part.
geez
rly scary
and shes so good that i want to be better but
very hard siol.

back to work

2011-01-01T18:36:00.001+08:00

there are always someone/something/somewhere/somegroup better.
it is impossible to be the 1st or best in a certain area

2010-12-29T01:51:00.002+08:00

peaked at 39.4
and last reading was 38.0 and GONE!
l0ls! 3watermelons this round, and gallons of liquids.
but cough still persist.
cough is nothing to bother. but muscle ache + cough can be disastrous.
the day right after my fever stops, went gym next day.
FUCK!
really too long nv touch ma sexy body.
1 cough = 1 or more parts of my muscle cramps for couple of secs.

during my days of living hell, watched tv and realised.
man, why everyhing is improving but mediacorp's actor's acting skills?!
THEY SUCK BIG TIME!
man seriously i bet i can do a better job than some of them.
tooooo fake.
and those fighting scene. are soooo fake, look carefully and you will think ncc land's open house unarm combat can fight better than them.
in tv, its just the camera man shaking. notexciting at all
at
all.
all those good actors retired or steped down. new actors?
alot from china =x and gays.

have been living on congee these few days.
BORED!! still have to walk so far to buy somemore.
weird, people ask their maid to buy food, i sometimes still help her buy food.
epic eh?

boring christmas. went out for dinner with parents and thats all -.-"
these few days at home also boring...
geeez after 2weeks of holiday, haven start any projects,
haven even start packing my stuffs cuz of an item.
weird thing abt me. i like to do things one shot. if something make me cant complete my task, i would feel uncomfortable, and keep dragging to much later date.
= waste of time~!!!!!!

why people wants to go out everyday.
for me 1week go out more than 3days my pocket emptied already.
keep going out neglect your other friends too.
neglect parents.
your computer, bed, chairs and house will miss their master.
higher risk of misfortune outside.
addicted to life other than staying at home.
higher risk of straying bad
higher risk of skin cancer ( from the long exposure to the sun you see )
righer risk of lung cancer ( from long exposure to polluted air )
and whatever illness you can think of, even STDs
bored of singapore
spend too much money.
get fat
l0ls bahh, just bull shitting last few points,
no lasy many points. l0ls

need to wake up 5tmr.
gg
AND I GOTTA PACK MY STUFFS REAL SOON!!!

2010-12-20T16:43:00.002+08:00

why does fever always come together with sore throat and cough.
slept 15hours today. what a waste of time.
just swallowed a whole watermelon, it only went down from 38.8 to 38.5.
guess i'll just have to swallow more.
cant do a shit now

2010-12-14T02:36:00.002+08:00

2 things.

1st
watching a romance drama/show when you are in the right mood would make you go,
awwwwww~~
ohhhh~~ so sweet
ahhhhhh omg!!!
so cute!!
and in contrast, watching it while in the wrong mood?
yeh next thing is shes going to kiss him..
too predictable.
so fake, as if she/he will respond like tat.
lame.. same idea. buay sian?
l0ls like that also can? -.-"

2nd
a picture speaks a thousand words?
i think a picture gives a thousand misconceptions.
well, you can infer a picture in anyway you want.
a picture can be whatever you want
as long as you got the imagination.
and imagination is not measurable
its something that cant be controlled.
there may be trillions of different gene combinations,
but imagination is beyond.. infinity.
so thats why i say picture speaks a thousand misconceptions.
they can mislead people, convey the wrong messages.
so picture suxs.

random.

2010-12-11T02:32:00.002+08:00

1st day of holiday.
dug 60 songs from the internet.
very good pregress xD
the bad thing is, dont have a earpiece to listen -.-"
bought one from ebay 2weeks ago.
haven receive it!
from china, mdr ex90lp. hope not a fake one.

2010-12-08T13:18:00.002+08:00

went to play 4 matches of Blackshot just now cuz was too bored.
and i was kicked out of the game by vote from others players.
reasons for kicking - hacking.

l0ls! i was kicked out because i was too fucking pro for them to handle O.o
one match where i was not kicked ended with Kill:Death 43:4

didnt know who got inside me. i just play and own, then get kicked cuz they think i hacking.
-.-"
sexy

2010-12-07T23:21:00.001+08:00

im smart.

2010-12-07T20:46:00.003+08:00

2 more days exams over. shiok
tmr IOchemistry
haven revise.
still posting.
everytime post liao can stop.
plan for holiday

- complete all my 6projects
- clear my phone memory and organise my computer's information
- dig for songs
- shop shop shop
- try to cut down on pool/lan/eating
- GAMES!
- organise my table
- fuck

muahaha volunteered to help in open house next jan!
looking forward!
SUCK THAT!

2010-12-07T20:42:00.002+08:00

oh yeh.
dunno why
sick also need to tell whole world.
comeon. how old liao still need so much attention l0ls.
some true facts i know about myself.
i have never given any true concern or whatever thing when one is trying to console others before.
never, before.
so people see me telling people,
ohh sad. take care!
drink water, rest well =)
things will be better tmr.
dun hurt urself
awww so sad
comen cheer up,
all these stuffs?
ITS NOT ME!
3 possibilities,
1) not i using
2) exteremely typo error
3) just say so that i wont lose friends.

yeh im weird

2010-12-07T19:53:00.002+08:00

i hate all those act one emo de people.
even if they are really emo,
i dun care!
they are irritating annoying pathetic time wasting childish stupid fake dull disgusting.

saw alot facebok post alot emo shit.
please la stop acting one emo there.
dun 1 to live the jut go die man! dun tell everyone and beg for sympathy -.-"

and i hate those people who join those lame groups
exact name forget but is something like
"i appears to be happy because i want my friends to be happy. but i am not"
screw off. lame u want act happy then act all the way. then join simi lj group telling people u acting?
lame all just wanna act one sad act one pathetic to get attention and care .
stupid shit.
who dun have unhappy stuffs. like oly they have.
either is their EQ freaking low.
or they are retarded.
posting tis kinda stuffs is like
telling a whole lot of handicap that you just sprain ur ankle.
its the same.

so fuck all those people who love to act one emo and hope they grow up soon.
-.-"
want die go die. dun tell whole world.

2010-12-03T21:20:00.003+08:00

theres a motive behind everybody's every single move.
be it words, movement, tone or actions.
there IS a motive.
humans do things which benefits them,
every single move means something trying to hint u something,
psycho u
change ur thoughts
convince you
act cute
act pity
lure you into asking something
showing off
yeh whatever shit u can think of.