Days currently are still a bit hard for me.
I more of those sentimental person. Many times when i'm alone, memories started to flash by at the back of my head. Good memories and bad memories. Occasionally i would laugh to myself alone or found my eyes watery. Even when i'm outside with friends, i can't help but link things happening now to similar events in the past.
Things like walking out of void deck into the open, i will take a detour to avoid windows (used to be scolded by her for walking under windows :) ).
Each time i pick up some food which was dropped onto the table, i will subconsciously look at the person in front of me (used to be her) to make sure she's not looking before i pick it up and eat.
Saw some of her favourite snacks in convenience store and have the urge to buy somehow.
Came back from johor on bus 950 and almost got off at Marsiling when my bus is not supposed to stop there.
Damn this list can goes on forever but i shall contain myself...
Anyway each time things like this happened, i feel nostalgic. Not particularly sad.. just felt somehow empty.
I believe i'll need quite a bit of time to get over it this time.
Actually got into a vocation envied by many, and becoming an officer.
Good friends who'll actually try their best to meet me whenever i need company.
National service to keep myself mentally occupied.
8th year brothers who don't htht but always looking after me.
Family who seldom talk to me but worried about me when they know i'm down.
Yeah being single sort of sucks. I wouldn't deny that. Sometimes something just couldn't be shared with guy friends. For some reasons. Maybe that's why almost all guys have a close girl-friend and/or girlfriend to htht. Now that i already lost my closest female friend few months back, now i lost my girlfriend. sigh..
She said that she wouldn't get into any relationship now as she felt that she's not yet ready for one herself too. She also said that once she's ready to commit a serious relationship, maybe we can get together again. Hmm i sounds like a spare tire. haha! but anyway seriously, if she did change for the better, i would consider. Because i believe 2 years down the road, I'll still miss her.
Fate has given us two chances and we flunked both. Maybe we're still not mature enough. Lets see if our paths would cross again for the third time. For now i'll just do my best for every challenges thrown to me! I wish the best for you too!
