These few weeks have been hectic. Just came back from 3weeks OBS, and immediately followed up by 3 examinations penal code, criminal procedure code, general law (essays & mcq papers). Then followed up with First responder training which takes up entire 5days from 8 to 6, with only less than an hour lunch break in between.
On top of that, squad recently got into trouble due to small matter and due to my committee position, have to answer for it, write reports, bear the responsibilities. Then OBS haunted me back with another report to finish so that they could use it for their own OBS meeting. the next week i rushed out a 30+ power point slides on the missions we done in OBS too. And suay suay kena Provost duty this week, and the sword casing vendor contacted me out of the 60 cadets in my course, and i have to facilitate all the deals of each person within 4days of tight schedules. getting permissions from course managers to distribute brochures and shit.
Been staying up till 2+ typing away on the super untimate lag computer which hangs for 2mins each time you save window xp, and with a small table lamp. Last night lagi worst, done 2hours worth of work and people trip over my power supply (oh did i forgot to mention i changed my laptop battery 3times and it is still not working? this is how poor HTA is) and i lost all my datas. no auto save.
Sigh.. Used to be able to do that in Polytechnic (because i can simply sleep in class or pon lessons). Here i have to pay constant attention for people would criticise again.. Anyway these few frenetic week, 2 sentences kept me going.
1) Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself to
--> thats right, i can always quit or taiji the tasks to other people, and just relax whenever i am free like everyone else. or i can simply quit as a chair. No point doing so much anyway. But still i chose to continue, then suck it up and stop complaining.
2) A person is only true when he is doing things he is not obliged to do
--> forgot the exact sentence, but the gist is there. Well honestly i gain no shit from any of these tasks. some can say i wayang, but the final peer apraisals were already over. some of the people in my squad are already beginning to slack off, showing their lazy and don't-care side. Which fortunately i already can tell who were those asses before the peer appraisal :) anyway, since there are essentially no incentives for me, why bother? no one would probably appreciates or even knew what you were doing, that you actually stayed up till 2am to do work. No one, i didn't tell anyone except my closest friend inside. So what for try so hard?
Honestly i also don't know. Even though i hate it so much, part of me still want to complete it, and after i completed the task, part of me still want to polish my work. And at the end of the day, i get to see my mates smile. and at the same time, i know that i 'jiao ta shi di' done my work.
